Wednesday, June 12, 2013

D Gray-Man Volume 1 by Katsura Hoshino

Shonen Jump Advanced... blah. Usually I'm all over it but this one well... it didn't have as much to offer someone like me. First of all, why does the main character have to have a "special" hand? This happens all too often in manga and I find it really well... unoriginal. Let's go over it shall we? Vampire Hunter D has that talking hand... yeah it talks.. I haven't read past the first book mostly because of the talking hand. It wasn't even a funny talking hand. It was all demonic and deep voiced (at least I imagine it had a deep voice). What else? Inuyasha- Hoshi-sama (the monk) has a magical hand that has a void, in which it draws everything around it inward. It may one day grab the monk and suck him into his own hand. I'm not clear on whether or not this means that the void will continue to exist, sucking in the world/universe or if it'll just implode on itself. I guess it depends on who's laws of gravity/space/time that the writer was following (most likely none). Last but not least, Devon Sawa. "Dude, my hand has been possessed by a demon! and it's trying to kill all of you! Seth Green watch out!! Oh no, I killed you and you're a zombie now!! gahh! I have to learn to jerk off with my left-hand! I'm not ambidextrous !! Why is the world so cruel?!" -Yeah okay, that last one doesn't count. But seriously, enough with the special hands! Who cares? Not me. So let's carry on...

Our special hand guy in D Gray-Man, is a British kid named Allen Walker who is apparently an exorcist...with an annoying cat that serves to fill in holes that the writer can't write himself out of. I hate that. "I need a solution to this plot and since I am writing fantasy/horror, I'll just invent a supernatural and ridiculous character to write fill in the parts I can't find a reasonable and logical solution to. No one will contest it, I'm writing fiction." Try harder Katsura!! Anyway, Allen has this mummified looking hand with a crucifix laid into it. Listen to me sigh. I'm sighing soooo loud!! Oh and guess what, he meets a girl. FUCK THIS ! SERIOUSLY FUCK IT! and you know what... no more Shonen Jump for me for a while. My cat writes better stories. Seriously, she's inventing them all the time. Yesterday she told me that she had fleas so I treated her and super cleaned my house and I didn't find one flea. LIES! Never trust a cat. END BLOG POST.

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